Am I Me, or am I my Dad?
by RagingCacti
Summary: When a potion catches Harry off guard, and sends him into the body of his own father, can he change history and save his parents?  Or will he screw up his past, and lose all of his friends in the prosses.
1. Chapter 1

Ok everyone, this is Vamp.Delight speaking. This Story, up until chapter 12, belongs to the author Samy K. He/She (sorry, bi-name) should be given credit until said chappy. Samy lost the story when deleted it, and I am sorry that this happened, but I will resurrect this story in her/his honor. Thank you.

p.s. this is my first fic, continuing from ch. 12, and please go easy.

p.p.s. I have made a few "editorial upgrades" so it is not an exact quote of the story.

**Disclaimer: YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ONE BY NOW!!!!!!!!**

**Chapter One**

_Deflating The Big Headed Potter_

Grimacing, it took all of Harry's willpower to not simply glower as Snape strolled briskly toward him, ready for his usual sly remarks and endless criticism toward his steaming cauldron once he had finished adding the last few ingredients.

"Well, well," said Snape in a particularly audible voice for others to hear as he peered down at Harry's cauldron with his obnoxiously overly large nose. "And what, Mr. Potter, do we have here?"

The Slytherins all glanced up swiftly from their own cauldrons, turning their heads to stare eagerly at them from across the room. They found it as entertainment whenever Snape was torturing Harry with insults, rude comments, alongside the taking of points.

Ron and Hermione, who were both standing by their own cauldrons several inches away, surveyed Harry uneasily. They were all now in their seventh and final year at Hogwarts and the threat of Voldemort grew more and more fearful by the last three years.

Only a year ago, Harry had finally revealed the truth about the prophecy to both of them, but first confining in Ginny, who was now surprisingly, _well_, his girlfriend. Many heavy losses and burdens had shaken Harry so hard in the years. Both Ron and Hermione knew that Harry still blamed himself for Cedric's and Sirius's death.

And with the thought of Voldemort getting more public and the constant news of more mysterious deaths that had occurred in the past several months, it was clearly not getting any easier for him.

Harry still had a short fuse and if messed with, would be sure to start shouting at the top of his lungs. The only one who had the courage to shout back was Ginny, and she was the only one that gave him the sense to shut up and feel ashamed of himself whenever he started.

And this would probably be one of those times for Harry to start releasing his wrath, because Ron and Hermione now knew that he would not take being provoked and tormented by the greasy haired Professor any longer.

"So Potter," sneered Snape. "I asked you what it was that you mixed into your cauldron. Don't tell me you are afraid to answer."

The Slytherins began to laugh, Malfoy being the loudest. Meanwhile, however, the Gryffindors joined in with Ron and Hermione, all of whom were surveying Harry uneasily. They had heard and seen Harry lose his temper before, and they knew it was not something to look forward to.

"The Sleeping Draught," said Harry, through slightly clenched teeth. "I've made the Sleeping Draught, sir."

"Oh really," said Snape dryly. His lips began to curl into a revolting look of enjoyment. "The Sleeping Draught, Potter? I don't seem to recall it being a rather delicate of purple."

"Its close enough," said Harry in a louder tone.

The Gryffindors cringed while the Slytherins began to howl with even more laughter.

"I don't think so Potter," said Snape in an annoyingly gleeful tone. "Another zero for today. This potion is completely useless. Evanesco."

The contents inside Harry's cauldron vanished and Snape stalked off, a look of smug satisfaction on his face.

"_SNIVELLUS_!"

The Slytherins who had not expected it, jumped in shock and some—including, Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy—had knocked over their cauldrons, spilling the mixed content inside, yet it went unnoticed since their eyes were instead focused on Harry who was shouting at a stony-faced petrified Snape.

The Gryffindors backed away slightly in fright and alarm, but Ron and Hermione stared at Snape and Harry in confusion. _Snivellus?_ Where had they heard that before?

Harry however, stared at Snape with a look of concentrated fury. His fists were clenched to his side, and he seemed to struggle with himself. There was a moment of cold silence between the two, then—

"Dad had a _good_ time, didn't he?" said Harry softly, his eyes hard. "Get over a grudge, why don't you?"

They all watched with bated breath as Snape's stony expression turned from quiet shock into a demented look of fury. Seeming to have cast a shadow around him, Snape stood taller. "Potter," he growled and began to make his way toward Harry, his wand suddenly having been raised high in the air.

But before Snape could get any closer however, the spilled potions that had been left unnoticed by the Slytherins had begun to drift its way toward Harry.

Hermione was the first to notice the spilling content.

"HARRY!" she screamed. "LOOK OUT!"

But it was too late.

By the time Harry had spun around and had seen the hot slippery liquid flowing his way, it had already touched the bottom of his soles. He had meant to get away from that moment on, but the potion seemed to have frozen him in place, causing him to stiffen and lose balance. Harry screamed as he realized he was being succumbed to hot burning liquid that was rapidly consuming his flesh in a matter of seconds.

"HARRY!" yelled Ron and all of the Gryffindors scrambled over hurriedly to help.

Suddenly a weird sensation began to wash over the room, stopping them dead in their tracks.

"What the bloody hell?" whispered Ron, now completely oblivious to Harry's screams of agonizing pain.

Slowly, Snape, the Gryffindors, and all of the Slytherins raised their disbelieving eyes to look at one another. The shapes of their bodies had suddenly become very blurred and unrecognized. Ron began to lift a hand to feel himself, but—

"We've frozen!" screamed Hermione.

There was an outburst of fearful muttering at this; some even began to cry out loudly.

The voices were abruptly stopped however. All of them tried to work their mouths frantically for help, but no sound came out and the only noise residing around them was the continuing endless screams of Harry.

Then blackness began to fill the dungeon room. And both the Slytherins and Gryffindors were clearly panicking, yet they could neither move nor speak. And then suddenly and unexpectedly as if a light had gone out, they knew no more.

**------------------------------------------------- **

Harry felt as if he was being brutally thrown against the wind as he fell. He tried to grab on to something, but caught nothing but air. He tried to scream but manage no sound.

Suddenly, his nostrils were filled with the strong smell of familiar grass…

"James!"

Harry's eyes snapped open and he saw three boys bending over him, all looking equally concerned.

"I'm not James," said Harry wearily as he was about to doze off again. "I'm Harry…"

His eyes were closing once more, but then a dark haired youth grabbed him by the shoulders and began to shake him.

"Huh? What?" snapped Harry abruptly, sitting bolt upright. He then looked around him and saw that he was in an unfamiliar dorm, with clothes, objects, and possessions having been thrown everywhere, and with three unfamiliar teen boys staring directly at him in full genuine concern.

One of them, the young man that had shaken Harry was staring at him with extreme agitation and worry, though there was a rather wry and fiendish grin to his mouth. His hair was a dark sleek black and hung over his piercing brown eyes. A look of outspoken mischief seemed to dancing from within them.

The other, who was a little shorter and not quite as handsome, though not all that bad looking as well, appeared to be more on edge than the rest of them. He was the closest to Harry, and his hair was neatly cropped and combed. His chin was slightly lantern liked, and his eyes were a pale blue. However, shadows hung well and dark under them.

And then the last of them was a small mousy haired boy with a very thin face, and a highly pointed nose that reminded Harry remarkably like a rat. He was quite plump, though not overly gigantic, and he stared at Harry with watery beady eyes that seemed to squint in curiosity, yet withheld uncertainty in them.

"Where am I?" said Harry stupidly, looking around in bewilderment. "And who the bloody hell are you guys?"

"James, are you feeling okay?" asked the dark-haired young man again. "Your really freaking us out here, mate. It's not like you to play it out this long."

"I'm not—" But Harry's eyes began to widen and he remember the mixture of multicolored spilled potions. "Oh no," whispered Harry in a hollow tone and he then stared at the three boys.

"It couldn't be…"

"What's wrong James?" squeaked the small mousy haired teen.

"Um, what year is it?" asked Harry uncertainly.

The three teenagers looked at him as if he were mad and the dark haired boy said very slowly, "It's 1978 James…"

That was all the confirmation that Harry needed. He leaped from the bed, and bolted from the dormitory, hearing the boys shout after him.

"James! James!"

Harry then tore down the common room and saw many unfamiliar faces looking at him and yelling, "Hey Potter!" or "Come hang out with us Potter!"

But Harry ignored them and dashed away out the portrait hole.

'I've got to find Dumbledore,' thought Harry, as he ran down the corridors that led to the Headmaster's office and spotted the two statues concealing it as usual.

But rather surprisingly and unexpectedly, the two statues moved apart and out came the Headmaster himself, dressed in fine midnight blue robes, looking almost just the same as he did back in Harry's time.

Relieved, he called out Dumbledore's name. "Professor!"

"Why James," said Dumbledore pleasantly. "What brings you here—"

"Sir, I--!" Harry gasped and clutched at his side.

"James, are you alright?" asked Professor Dumbledore, appearing concerned.

"I'm not James, I'm Harry Potter, his son from the future. I must have traveled to the past by mistake."

Dumbledore looked down at Harry with his crooked nose, surveying him through the frames of his half-moon spectacles.

"Are you able to prove that to me?" asked Dumbledore quietly.

Harry pushed back his hair quickly to reveal his scar. He knew it would be the best evidence he could show at such a time like this.

"See Professor, I have a scar on my forehead," said Harry at once, planting a finger on where he thought it was, yet only to find that his forehead felt perfectly smooth. "What the—what happen to my scar?"

Dumbledore continued to survey Harry rather inquisitively. Silently however, he then took out a small pocket mirror from underneath the garments of his midnight blue robes. He handed it to Harry and said calmly, "Here you are, glance at your reflection. I'm sure that's enough to prove to us both that you are none other than James Potter."

Harry took the mirror and glanced down at himself, expecting to see bright green eyes and a scar, only both weren't there. Instead his eyes were a murky hazel, with the fact that there was no scar and his nose seemed to stretch out longer than his own usually did.

Harry nearly fainted.

"I'm James…"

"Why of course you are," said Dumbledore smiling serenely, taking back his mirror and pocketing it.

"No Professor," protested Harry at once. "You don't understand. You see, I was in potion's class and this accident occurred. I think I might have blown myself into the past by mistake and somehow I ended up as my father. You have to believe me Professor; I'm not really James. I'm his son, Harry Potter."

The old Headmaster peered into Harry's eyes as though scrutinizing him and a sudden connection between them was then felt. Harry knew that Professor Dumbledore was using Leglimens, and although he never liked the way it had an effect on him, he was quite desperate to be believed and understood.

The minutes ticked on the in the loudest silence ever as Harry waited for his fate.

At long last, Dumbledore spoke, "I believe you Harry."

"Thank you Professor," he breathed in relief. "But how do I get back to the future sir?"

Professor Dumbledore looked at him sadly. "I'm afraid, Harry that it may take the whole school year for you to return to your own time period. You see, we must find the right type of potion to bring you back. A Time-Turner won't do, because the Ministry will believe your story much too farfetched. Not only that but," Dumbledore paused slightly, as if choosing his next words carefully. "There has been certain danger, and if they do _indeed_ realize you are from the future, they will hold you hostage and demand of what you know."

"But—!" Harry protested.

"But I will help you," said Dumbledore calmly. "You cannot afford to stay in the past. We cannot ruin what lies in store for us anymore than we can destroy ourselves."

Harry felt a sudden stir of hope residing in his chest. "Then you _are_ going to help me, sir…." It wasn't a question, but a statement full of confidence. Dumbledore had always given him those unexplained feelings of immediate reliance and trust.

"Yes Harry, but it may take time, and I only ask of you to be patient. However, I believe you needn't worry about your present time; it would have frozen, so until you get back, it will remain that way. Yet I am hoping that you will try to impersonate your father the best you can."

"But sir," said Harry. "Where is my father? Since I'm in him, what's happened to the real him?"

"I wouldn't worry about it, Harry," said Dumbledore. "His soul is still in his body, intact, and whole, but you have shut it off with you becoming him."

"Oh," said Harry in a quiet voice. "But is he in his seventh year?"

"Yes Harry, he is."

There was a minute of silence and then at last, Harry stepped back.

"Thank you Professor," he said, relief and gratitude spoken in his every word. "I will do my best and I will try my hardest impersonate my father."

"Very well," said Dumbledore with a node of his head. "Off you trot then."

Harry turned and bolted back to the Gryffindor common room. He was now thinking of all he would soon have to face when returning to the seventh year dormitory, for he now knew who the three young men were.

_If only I could strangle Wormtail_, thought Harry fiercely.

**--------------------------------------------------------**

Lily Evans sat in the corner of the common room with her friends, studying with utmost reluctance for their physical Defense Against The Dark Arts test that would soon come tomorrow.

"Can you believe it?" muttered Alice Comber waving her wand, looking extremely irritated. "I tried to get this stupid Patronus Charm working for the last fifteenth time, yet I'm still not getting any shape!" Angrily, Alice grabbed her _Defense Against The Foulest Creatures _book by Milli Twinkletwine and flipped through the pages in a hasty rush, looking for the chapter regarding _Patronuses_. "Urg, bloody hell! What am I doing _wrong_?"

"Well I'm not getting anything either," said Lily in annoyance and with a frustrated sigh, she threw her wand on the floor in exasperation.

"Oh, c'mon girls," said Su Chang, a very pretty girl, who was leaning against the common room wall, obviously relaxed. "Forget about it, it's only a test. Besides, we'll have plenty of them to come in the future anyhow."

"Only a test!" exclaimed Linda Barmy, her bright blue eyes widening to the size of golf balls and her freckles seem to fidget in indignation. "It may be easy for you to say that Su, because all you can think about on a regular basis is snogging some other guy that appears out of nowhere!"

Su grinned playfully and let out a dreamy sigh.

"Boys…I can't resist them and they can't resist me…"

Lily rolled her eyes while the rest of them smirked knowingly at one another. If there was one thing that Su was best at getting, it was boys, and honestly, her day-to-day analysis on each guy she had dated was rather annoying now. However Linda suddenly stopped smirking abruptly as she turned toward the common room entrance. Grinning mischievously, she spun back around toward a particular red head's direction, "Speaking of boys, here comes your knight in shining armor Lily."

Four girls whirled around and saw James Potter squeeze himself through the portrait hole. Toppling out of it, he scrambled up the dormitory stairs in an unknown haste, oblivious to the cooing of girls and eager voices of boys.

"Oh, you mean the big-headed-prick," growled Lily, turning back around with an irritated look on her face. If there was one thing she hated more than Potter showing off, it was when people talked about him as if he were the king of the world. "I could care less about that idiot. But if you want me to repeat that for the millionth time already, Linda, I will. But yes, thanks for reminding me." Her voice trailed away in extreme sarcasm.

"Did you have to bring him up?" asked Alice exasperatedly to Linda as Lily began her _I-Hate-Potter_ rants.

Linda grinned and simply replied, "Sorry Alice, couldn't resist. It's quite fun to get Lily all worked up. You know she has a very unique kind of temper."

"I think we all know that Linda," mumbled Su, rolling her eyes onto Lily who was still mumbling furiously and appeared to be at no point of stopping anytime soon.

"Just earlier today, that toerag asked me out again!" said Lily angrily, puffing her cheeks and causing them to grow a rather rosy glow from her anger. "When will that creep get a clue that he's a conceited _fat_-_headed_-_pompous_-_arrogant_—wait, arrogant and pompous mean the same thing—_jerk_ whom I will _never ever_ go out with!"

She finished by pounding her fist on the study table and sending her inkbottle flying. Oblivious to the fact that her best friends were watching her somewhat wearily; Lily picked up her inkbottle and continued her mutinous ranting, but in a low mumbling voice.

Alley, Su and Linda who were all use to this behavior, shook their heads and pursued a different topic about Lily's boyfriend so far, Amos Diggory, hoping to get her out of such Potter negativity.

"So what do you think of Amos, Lils?" asked Su, immediately changing the subject once she could get a word in edgewise

Lily's eyes seemed to glow with quiet rapture at the mention of Amos.

"Oh, well … he's cute and a lot nicer than I expected," said Lily, blushing slightly as she bit back a wide smile. "Last weekend when we went to Hogmeade's, he held all the shop doors for me and he ordered whatever I wanted at Madam's Puttifoot, he bought me some gifts—"

At that precise moment, Lily held out her wrist and showed three carefully threaded rubies that had been tied around her wrist to all three of them, preparing for their "_oohs_" and "_ahhs_."

The bracelets might have been nice to Lily, but to Alice, Su and Linda, it looked more like a cheaply bought plastic _thingy_ at the price of one Knut.

Both Su and Linda wrinkled their noses very slightly so that Lily would not notice. Alice however, was a little more considerate.

"Uh, its nice Lily," said Alice in an unconvincing tone, but Lily didn't seem to notice. Instead, she was smiling cheerfully to herself as she picked up her wand.

"Prongs!" shouted Sirius, Remus and Wormtail all at once as soon as Harry entered the room.

"Hey," said Larry trying to sound nonchalant. "Sorry about before, I was just a little forgetful."

"To right you were," said Sirius, grinning widely. "But how did that happen?"

"I was, uh, flying on my broomstick and fell," finished Harry somewhat lamely.

"Well hopefully, you won't be doing that by yourself anymore. Honestly James, I think you and Padfoot are becoming a little more obsessed with Quidditch lately," said Remus, raising his eyebrows slightly behind his book. "You had us really worried. Did Pomfrey give you a Remembrance Potion?"

"Yep," said Harry and he sat down on where he thought was James bed.

"Hey!" protested Sirius loudly. "Its not very good business for me if you're sitting on my _Invitation Bed_, Prongs!"

"Invit—what?"

"Oh c'mon," said Sirius grinning suddenly like a very mad dog. "You couldn't have forgotten that I invite only the hottest looking girls in my bed every night."

Harry looked at Sirius in repulsion mingled with horror. Sure, he had known since falling into Snape's memory that Sirius had always been appealing to the opposite sex, but he just couldn't quite understand why he hadn't realize the truth quite realistically when he had spotted his godfather beforehand.

"Don't look at me like that," said Sirius. "Just because you can't get Evans in a bed, doesn't mean that you should be jealous of me, James."

Wormtail sniggered, though Remus looked hardly amused. He only smiled slightly and shook his head, having returned to his book and seemed to now be reading somewhat steadily.

Harry then remembered his mother.

_Oh bloody hell!_ thought Harry. _I forgot that dad has to date mum in seventh year! If I miss the chance and mess it up, the future will be ruined! Then I'll never be born!_

But the mere thought of asking his mother out on a date was more than enough to tell Harry it was revolting. However, he realized then that this was his father's body, he wouldn't really be dating Lily, his dad would. Harry was just inside his father, and besides, the potion was surely not going to take that long to create, and he would be home in no time before he had to _do_ anything with his mother. Well, hopefully anyway.

"So how far do you think I'm in with Evans?" asked Harry, trying to sound casual.

"How far?" shouted Remus, looking up from his book and staring at Harry as if he were mad. "James, you aren't even close! She still hates your guts! Remember how you made Head Boy, she was so angry, but more of the fact that you _tried_ asking her out _again_ the moment you saw her. And how about earlier today when you wouldn't leave her alone? She hexed you pretty bad, mate. Besides, she's dating that smarmy git, Amos Diggory."

_Great,_ thought Harry sarcastically. _I just found out I'm Head Boy, which is Ron's job in the future. My mum still hates my dad and he's still being an idiot. Really great._

With that, Harry flopped on the bed next to Sirius and since no one objected, he assumed it was James's bed.

Harry closed his eyes. _I guess it going to take a lot of work to convince mum to date dad, especially since she has a boyfriend already. But I won't interfere with their relationship, they're bound to breakup if my mum started going out with dad in seventh year. Anyways, it still going to take a lot of work of showing dad in a new light, especially since it's deflating the big headed Potter._

_--------------------------------------------------------------------_


	2. The beginnings of deflation

Hola again, next of her/his chappies. Nm to say. Read on!

**Chapter two**

By. Samy K.

**  
**_The Beginnings Of Deflation_

Harry woke up extra early the next morning to find the bed next to him occupied by two clumps, which turned out to be a half-naked sleeping ivory skinned girl in the arms of Sirius.

A little surprised and indeed feeling slightly disgusted, Harry took a quick shower and changed into a pair of well fitting blue jeans and a simple black shirt, which soon joined a pair of combat boots. As he rummaged through his father's trunk, Harry had noticed that James seemed to have a styling with all his clothes. His shirts for instance, were not the baggy material that he was use too, but nicely sized and stretched out across James's torso in a rather appealing way. His jeans were also not so overly huge and they fitted extremely well, though were just a tad bit loose.

After Harry had finished dressing, he moved out of the room quietly and slowly, not wanting to disturb or wake his new roommates. At that precise moment however, he thought wistfully of Ron and Hermione, especially Ginny, but he pushed the images of them aside and descended the dormitory stairs.

He came down and saw not a single soul in the common room.

_I must have woken up a bit too early,_ Harry thought as he climbed out of the portrait hole. _But, oh well, at least I get first grabs for breakfast._

And he did get first grabs too, since there appeared to be no one in the Great Hall. Harry ate his way slowly through his eggs and bacon; he was in no rush at all. As he helped himself eagerly with more toast and jam, the Great Hall soon began to fill up with students, all who moved eagerly towards their house tables where the steaming plates of breakfast lay.

Just as Harry had finished his breakfast and a large noisy crowd had already filled all of the Great Hall, he heard a shout from behind him.

"Prongs!"

Sirius, Remus and Wormtail were running up to him, all looking very surprised.

"You woke early for once in your life James?" said Remus looking astounded. "And I didn't have to beat you with a club this time?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders casually.

"Just felt like breakfast," was all he said.

Sirius shook his head and slapped Harry around the head. "My baby is growing up with a new sense of responsibility," he sniffled.

"Oh, shut up Padfoot," said Harry.

Sirius, Remus and Wormtail finally seated themselves, lunging for everything within reach. Harry waited as they shoved in large amounts of breakfast into their mouths. Remus, however, seemed like the only well-mannered one as he cut up his bacon.

Finally, when they had finished, it was about time for their lessons to begin. Harry pretended to act as if he knew where his classes were, but truthfully, he only followed the three Marauders. And to lighten up his mood, their first class was Defense Against The Dark Arts.

"Damn," muttered Sirius as they took their seats in the back row. "We have a test today. And I still can't get that spell right."

"Test?" said Harry beginning to panic. "What sort of test?"

"Don't you remember James?" asked Remus. "We have a practical test today. Professor Tibbles is going to call out our names and we have to walk up to the front of the room and master the Patronus Charm in front of him. Unfortunately though, he's also grading us today and I don't think any of us has even done it yet."

Harry nearly smiled in relief.

"Oh, right," he said, pretending to look very concerned.

At that moment, his mother entered the room with a large group of friends. Harry recognized her immediately, because of the red hair and almond-shaped green eyes.

Lily took a seat in the front without a backward glance.

Harry grinned rather secretively. By the end of the class, his mum wouldn't know what hit her.

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Lily Evans was feeling tense. Extremely tense. She grew more and more agitated by the second, fingers interlocking tensely with one another. Professor Tibbles, a tall aging wizard, stood up from behind his desk and walked up to the front of the room with a parchment in his hand. He fell into a seat just directly a foot across from her own desk. Lily swallowed nervously as the old Professor began to call out names for the defense test.

Much to Lily's relief, none of the students who had been called on were able to produce any shape but the usual silver mist out of their wands.

_So I'm not the only one,_ Lily thought, but when Professor Tibbles suddenly called out, "Evans, Lily." She had stood up, trembling from head to foot.

Lily walked up to the front of the classroom with her wand out. It was bad enough to do a test that she couldn't possibly pass, but Lily knew it was even worse when you had a Professor who was most likely to fail you because of your inability to even summon a Patronus along with the whole entire class sniggering behind your back.

Lily raised her wand, swallowed and shouted, "Expecto Patronum!"

Just as she had expected, nothing but silver vapor shot out and Professor Tibbles gave a very long and weary sigh. Biting her lower lip, Lily took her seat, and glance half-heartedly at Professor Tibbles; his face looked absolutely resigned and it was more than enough to let Lily know that she had failed.

"Well, I indeed have to say that I am very disappointed," announced Professor Tibbles in his hoarse rather wheezy voice as if he smoked way too many cigars. "But still, we have one more student to perform the charm, but I will not get my hopes up to high. _Potter_, _James_."

Lily stiffened and scowled at the mention of Potter's name. Why had she taken a seat at the front of the room? It would now surely delight Potter. He loved it whenever he was given the chance to show off in front of her. But it was even better for him if she was first in the audience.

_Oh here we go again,_ thought Lily bitterly. Clenching her jaw slightly, she drew away from her desk slightly and waited with extreme expectancy of his usual behavior. But much to her surprise, Potter walked up to the front of room as casually as can be, instead of his usual strutting, whipped out his wand without a glance her way or the movement of messing his hand through his hair and bellowed almost lazily, "Expecto Patronum!"

A large silver stag burst from the tip of Potter's wand. Lily watched in amazement as it galloped around the room once, before dissolving into silver mist.

The class began to clap spontaneously and there were many hoots and yells.

"Why Mr. Potter!" exclaimed the Professor looking astounded. "I am deeply impressed, obviously you must have put much work into being able to produce a Patronus as good as that!"

"Yes Professor, I have put a lot of work into it," replied Potter calmly. Lily was indeed surprised to hear how modest his voice was. Usually there was an arrogant fashion to it, but she heard none but honesty and carelessness in his tone.

"You may all leave now," said Professor Tibbles, appearing very please as every pupil began to pack their bags. "And twenty points to Gryffindor for your excellency, Mr. Potter."

The class began to file out and Lily followed them in a daze. She then met Amos by the doorway, took his hand and began to walk down the corridor with him. The seventh year Gryffindors now had Herbology with the seventh year Hufflepuffs

Amos began chattering away, but Lily wasn't listening to a word he was saying. Potter was suddenly walking toward her with his usual group of friends called the Marauders, who were sniggering and looking her pointedly.

_Bloody hell,_ thought Lily and she began to sicken. All thoughts of his modesty washed away and flew out the window. _Here it comes, the prick is going to ask me again!_

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Walking past Lily in a casual careful stride, Harry raised a hand in simple greeting and

said, "Hi Lily," with that done, he flashed her an everyday normal smile.

The shock was evident in her emerald green eyes as she stared back into his hazel ones and Harry had to hide his laughter.

It was obvious that the last thing she had expected from James Potter was to call her by her first name. Lily was surely accustomed to 'Evans,' because she had never looked so amazed in her life.

Harry then flashed her another smile, turned away and began to follow the Marauders for their next lesson. All three of them were gawking at him and Harry again, had to hide his laughter once more.

_But that's only the beginning mum,_ thought Harry triumphantly. _You haven't seen the real James Potter just yet!_

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While in Herbology, Lily continued to stare at the back James head during the rest of the remaining lessons.

She couldn't believe that bigheaded Potter had just called her by her first name instead of the usual 'Evans.' There was also something rather strange about him today that was filling her with pestering curiously. It was almost as if it wasn't really James Potter in that body.

The way he had smiled at her was also shocking. Lily had always avoided looking at Potter, because whenever she did, there was a usual cocky arrogant smirk planted on his face, as if naturally made there. But this time, there had been none. For the first seven years ever, Lily had actually seen a true normal smile from Potter.

Did she dare say genuine?

_Gosh, my stomach feels queasy now._

Then a loud scuffling noise met Lily's ears and she realized that everyone was now packing their bags to leave for the bell had gave signal. With a one last glance at the back of Potter's head, Lily then began shoving her books into her bag and bolted out the door with Amos, so that she would not have to see Potter cross her way again.

Because as much as she hated to admit it, James Potter smile had melted her deeply.

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That night in the Gryffindor common room, Harry was sitting upright in an armchair, staring blankly into the fire with solemn eyes.

Everyone else had gone to bed, which had left Harry alone to do as he pleased. As he stared into the flickering flames, Harry realized just how much he missed Ginny along with Ron and Hermione. He even missed the two of them bickering constantly at one another, but most of all he missed his Ginny.

Harry missed the feel and touch of her skin. He missed her long luxurious red hair, which he had always loved to run his hands through, and he missed her bright honeyed colored eyes, which he would sometimes stare into for a long time, yet finally, Harry missed her soft rosy lips that had felt so smooth and touchable. He wanted again to feel her at that moment, but he didn't know the best way of having Ginny when they were what, so many years apart in a different time and almost different place? Harry ached for Ginny because she had always been his best source of comfort when in despair or anger.

He let out a sigh, being able to manage a smile for the first time as he thought of his mum's shocked face. However, that had only become the beginning of things. Soon, she and Diggory would have to break it off somehow, and Harry would set his plan fully on that part of their split-up.

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"It's the weekend!" roared Sirius pumping his fist into the air. "Let's play Quidditch! I'm bored."

"Quidditch?" said Harry, rising up from his bed, excitement in his eyes.

"Right-o," said Remus, looking bored. "You two go on right ahead, I'll accompany myself with a book and anyways, Peter can't come, he's sleeping apparently."

Remus then pointed a finger over at Wormtail who was curled up like a ball on his own bed, the blankets having been wrapped tightly around him and obscuring the little rat face from sight. Harry rolled his eyes while Sirius began thrashing into his own trunk.

"Got it," said Sirius triumphantly, pulling out his broom. It had the word _Comet Two-Sixty_ flashing across the broom handle.

Curiously, he wondered if that had been one of the best models made during his parent's time. Bending hastily down, Harry began to look into James trunk for a broomstick.

It was at the very bottom, hidden under heaps of parchment and heavy mischievous objects. Harry picked it up as if made of delicate glass. The broomstick was gleaming silver and at the side of the broom, a name was edge out strikingly and clearly.

_The Silver Arrow._

"All right Prongs!" shouted Sirius snapping Harry slightly out of his daydream. "Let's go already, I've been longing to fly on my broom this whole week."

In a daze, Harry followed Sirius down into the quidditch pitch where they both mounted their brooms and took off.

The Silver Arrow was amazing, it was quite fast for an old styled broom, but it couldn't reach the rating of his own Firebolt. Harry twirled and dived along with Sirius, fighting viciously through the air and feeling the wind blow through his hair.

"I'm letting the Snitch out Prongs!" called out Sirius and Harry saw with an urge of eagerness, Sirius had withdrawn from his hand, a golden little Snitch that instantly sped off towards the grassy fields.

Harry accelerated, rolling and swerving in and out of the hoops, while the warm autumn air continued to relentlessly whip at his face and the sudden distant yells of Sirius became voice so meaningless in his ears.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Harry spotted the Snitch skimming across the grassy grounds. Without a moments hesitation, he had dived an amazing twirl downwards with his hand outstretched and in a few seconds, had grabbed it easily.

Sirius began cheering and Harry pumped his fist into the air, enjoyment dancing in his eyes, the energy inside him having exploded and he let go of the Snitch to once again zoom around the quidditch pitch. As Harry looked over at the Owlery window, he noticed a familiar redhead staring directly at him.

Grinning widely, he passed her with his broomstick and said, "All right Lily?"

With that, Harry sped off again, but not before waving goodbye.

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Lily stared breathlessly at James.

He had called her _Lily_ again! Why did Potter keep surprising her lately?

Lily had only gone up to visit her owl, Ere, but had spotted Potter and Black accelerating in all directions with their brooms. She was soon about to roll her eyes and walk away, when she noticed Potter doing a spectacular impossibly deep dive.

Lily had watched in fascination as Potter grabbed the Snitch easily and had sped off once catching it, yet only to notice her and greet her by first name yet again without a sense of arrogance. And to add to Lily's amazement, he had not brought up a hand once to mess up his hair in her presence.

From across the Owlery window, Lily glanced meekly over at Black and Potter. Black was patting Potter around the back and complimenting him about his _'amazing dive.'_

And to her disbelief, Lily could have sworn that the usual stuck-up Potter looked embarrassed by the compliments instead of his usual tactics of _'I know I'm the best.'_

She watched as Potter desisted Black's compliments and say that it was _'nothing.'_ Lily then turned around and wondered aloud frantically, "What the bloody hell happen to Potter?"


	3. First Civilized talk

I am soooooooooooooooooooooosooooooosoooosooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for not updating. Forgive me. I am posting now three chappies is three consecutive days, unless i have a homework blizzard form h again, like every other day since high school started many moons ago. Vuala!! chapter three.

**Chapter Three**

_The First Civilized Talk_

A week passed and to Lily Evans, it was the most peaceful week anyone could earn. At first, she didn't understand why it was so oddly quiet and undisturbed, but after a couple more days passed; she realized it was mostly because of Potter.

For some barbaric reason possibly known to himself, Potter seemed to have abruptly stopped hexing people for no particular reason. A couple of weeks ago however, he had been dangling a naked first year boy in midair and now, two weeks later, nothing. He was acting like a normal mature person.

It was as if nothing had become out of the ordinary.

_Merlin, was he frustrating!_

The other reason it seemed so quiet and casual was because Potter had suddenly just stop asking her out as if he had never started in the first place. Lily was amazed and at the same time, almost thankful towards him…. Almost.

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It was Harry's turn to patrol the corridors since Lily had done her duty yesterday. Now that he was Head Boy, he had to continuously attend to patrolling the corridors every Wednesday evening.

Sadly, there was no choice involved and it had to be done.

_Dull and pointless,_ was what Harry thought.

As he walked down the corridor in steady strides, Harry became deep in thought about his mother. He was absolutely sure that Lily would have noticed the change in James by now. How could she not?

At this, Harry smiled, but it immediately slipped off his face when he turned around a sudden corner.

Sirius was waving his wand in a joyous manner while grinning gleefully. Behind him, a large crowd who was watching the scene erupted with crazed laughter. Harry suddenly felt a hot swoop of anger…

Sirius was cheerfully waving up a pallid faced boy about their age in midair and Harry knew there was only one person who could have that much grease on hair…

"Sirius!" bellowed Harry angrily and the crowd, startled, turned their attention toward him.

"James!" cried Sirius, nearly crying with laughter now. He hastily wiped his streaming eyes, his cheeks a rosy glow from pure mirth. "Come join the fun Prongs, let's pried off his underwear while we're at it. You could do the honors, mate!"

But much to everyone surprise, Harry looked furious. His face was rising from heat and Sirius was startled to see how his hazel eyes seem to flicker with hot sparks. But what they didn't know however was that the rush of a shameful memory contained inside a certain pensieve had dawned on him.

"Sirius," said Harry, slowly, his voice thick with shame and anger. "Let him _down_."

Sirius stared at him in disbelief. He wasn't the only one. Everyone who had clearly been enjoying the show were also in shock. _Was this James? James Potter?_

"What?" Sirius gaped, evidently confused.

"You heard me Sirius. I said let him down or I _WILL_ DEDUCT POINTS, because if you haven't noticed, I'm _Head Boy_, and what _I_ say, _COUNTS_!" Harry had not meant to lose his temper, but watching from the sidelines of what his father had done for fun in his youth was hard enough, not to mention appalling.

His expression suddenly unreadable, Sirius slowly took the jinx off Snape, and the greasy haired git soon-to-be-Harry's-Professor ran for it.

"Now leave, _all of you_. There's nothing to see," said Harry fiercely, waving his wand at the departing students who mumbled irritably as they rushed hurriedly past him. Drawing out a long breath, he turned to face Sirius so he could explain the situation, but only to find him gone. This felt like an empty blow to his face.

Harry then simply stood there, furious at Sirius's lack of understanding and maturity. He didn't understand. Weren't they seventeen and growing up like Sirius had described in Grimmauld Place when he had hung his head outside of Umbridge's fireplace due to his distress of being James Potter son after the fiasco with Snape? And if so, _when_ in seventh year did they finally learn? Finally, with a shake of his head, he departed down another side of the corridor.

_I'll deal with Sirius later,_ Harry decided.

He had not noticed however, that a certain redhead mother of his had been watching the whole scene from behind the other side of the corridor that Harry had just already patrolled before interrupting Sirius and the whole crowd's entertainment.

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As soon as his patrolling duties were finished, Harry made his way into the Gryffindor common room.

People who had been talking excitedly stopped abruptly as soon as he had entered through the portrait hole. Many whispers then broke out, but Harry ignored them and went straight towards the Marauders who were sitting in the far corner and talking quietly with one another.

The moment Harry made his presence in front of them, Wormtail stopped whatever he was saying and gazed fearfully at him. Sirius suddenly stood up and Remus seemed entirely focused now on his textbook called _A Hundred Potion Ingredients_, which was turn upside down.

That little part of misused casualness gave him away.

"Well," snarled Sirius loudly. "If it isn't the _famous_ Head Boy! Tell me, Potter, how does it feel? Is it good to steal points from your own house? Come now, tell us!"

The many whispers had now stopped; all eyes were on Harry and Sirius.

"You shouldn't have down that Sirius," said Harry quietly, having prepared for the attack. "It was stupid and out of order."

"Out of order?" roared Sirius disbelievingly. "James, we've been bullying his bloody ass since first year! What's it matter now? You hate Snape and he hates you. With every chance he gets, he always tries to hex you with your back turned!"

"Well, I can take care of myself, we both can!" said Harry loudly. He had meant for this to be a more private subtle conversation, but Sirius, being unusually mull-headed and stubborn was beginning to make him even more furious than he had been before. Harry didn't feel any better in fact, because not only was he confused with the mature version of Sirius in the future, but he was also torn between the younger Sirius as well. "We're about seventeen now, and your still acting like you're a bloody third year. Well, I'm over it, Sirius."

"YOU DECIDED TO GROW UP NOW JAMES!" screamed Sirius mockingly. "ONLY WEEKS AGO, WE'VE BEEN HEXING HIM AND EVERYBODY FOR THE FUN OF IT! NOW YOU'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED TO CHANGE? WHEN THE BLOODY HELL DID THAT START TO HAPPEN? TELL ME!"

Lily watched the fight with wide disbelieving eyes. She couldn't believe what she hearing from Potter, or Black for the matter. But Potter's next words were the most surprising of all to Lily.

"YOU WANNA KNOW SIRIUS?" bellowed James, who had grown clearly red in the face from fury. He looked fit to burst now as he stepped forward and prodded Sirius in the chest. "I'll _TELL_ you when I decided to change! It was when I realized that I was an arrogant prat that couldn't be more of a nuisance for some people that hated me _HURTING_ THEM! And you know what was _worse_? I—WAS—A—BULLY! A _damn stuck-up bully,_ that went around _strutting_ around like I owned the bloody place. You'd _think_ I want to stay that way? _No_, and that's _my _answer, Sirius."

Lily brought a hand over her mouth in complete shock and disbelief. She did not know what to say, for as Head Girl, she should have been interfering with the fight to try and prevent it, but what James Potter had bellowed so loudly kept her frozen in place to only gape open mouth at his words.

For a moment, James and Sirius just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. At long last, Sirius turned away and swept up the dormitory staircase without another word and James, after one last look at his best mate, finally turned away too.

Lily had never seen that look on his face before. He seemed torn between guilt, anger, and even despair for something. His hazel eyes were focused intently on the ground as he shoved angrily through the crowd and out the portrait hole, swearing in a bellowing furious voice as he stomped out.

"Where do you think he's going?" asked Alice in a hush whisper.

"Who knows," Lily whispered back, staring at the portrait hole. "Let's just hope he remembers the Head Boy and Head Girl meeting tonight."

Lily Evans had never seen James Potter look so upset as much as he did now.

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Harry walked as slowly as he could when entering the forbidden forest, his eyes downcast, and his head bowed dejectedly. Admittedly, he felt some hurt at the fight he had just experience with Sirius. He had never wanted to yell like he did at his future godfather, yet at the same time; Harry could not help but be infuriated by his attitude.

He finally stopped at the edge of a dead beaten path where the clearings were hardly surrounded by trees and sank down onto the ground.

"Sirius, Sirius," Harry mumbled. Why did he have to get into a fight like that with his future dead godfather? He felt so horribly guilty and despaired, and yet despite all those turmoil of emotions rushing through him, rage was still the one best felt. _Bloody hell_.

_I should have controlled my temper,_ thought Harry fiercely. He so badly wanted to release the pent-up anger that without almost knowing it, Harry threw back his fist and thrust it hard against the ground. _Damn it_!_ Why didn't I bloody control my temper?_

With that, Harry flung his already wounded fist into a nearby tree and cursed at the top of his voice. It wasn't until he noticed that his fist was now throbbing horribly and bleeding rather badly that he removed it, still swearing loudly at his bloodstained knuckles.

He sank again to the ground in misery and began to stare hopelessly ahead of him with blank solemn eyes. But when the sun began to sink below the cliff, Harry realized that it was about time he went back to Hogwarts for the Head Boy and Head Girl meeting.

Rising to his feet and wiping sighing wearily, Harry bolted back to Hogwarts.

It had been a long day already.

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Lily began to get impatient as she waited for Potter to return to his duties. It was ten-fifteen and everyone else had already gone to bed. _Honestly,_ she thought, feeling rather annoyed. _You would have thought he made it back by now._

As though right on cue, the portrait hole swung open and in climbed James Potter himself.

Lily couldn't help but stare at him. He looked a right down mess, his clothes were disheveled, and his usual highly polish shoes were tattered and dirty as if he had been running endlessly for hours. Dirt, bits of twigs and leaves had also subsided in his windswept hair.

"Sorry I'm late," said Potter dully and up close, Lily saw that his eyes looked bloodshot and red as if—

"Its fine," said Lily firmly, now turning away from him. "We just need to write down some ideas for a celebration. You know, for the seventh years, because it's their final year and ours as well."

"Right, right," continued Potter in the same dulled tone. He had his hands in his pockets and was refusing to look at her. Waving his wand almost lazily, he said softly, "_Accio_ parchment and quill." They flew clumsily into his hands from his own bag that was lying uncared for and torn on the floor.

Lily, not wanting to look at Potter, wrote determinedly on her parchment. She knew if she started giving him advice, he was determined to go back to his cocky self and ask her out. She remembered….

"_What's wrong Potter," Lily had asked. _

_Potter had been sitting sullenly by himself, staring out of the library window, his expression filled with an unusual combination of sorrow and loss. _

"_Nothing," he mumbled. "I'm just tired, that's all." _

_They had been in their fifth year that time, and Potter hadn't started pestering her about going out with him until fourth year at the very least. Usually, he did it weekly, and sometimes every day to her annoyance. _

_Lily however appeared to have forgotten this as she continued to scrutinize him. Potter had not asked her out in a week, and she had thought that maybe he had finally started maturing a little and was beginning to understand that she didn't see him in that light. _

_Of course, Lily had felt grateful when she thought he had given up on her at last. _

"_No, something is wrong Potter," She said in a gentle voice. "Tell me." _

_Potter looked up at her and said softly, "My dad's an Auror. He's never home, and my mum is worried sick about him because he's out there risking his life. I'm worried too, because he's been gone frequently, and its been several weeks, and we haven't heard a single reply yet. He's never there every time I come home for Christmas and he's hardly there for me when I need him the most." _

_Lily looked at him sympathetically and said just as softly, "Your father's a busy man Potter, but that doesn't give him the right to ignore his family. You should tell him that in your next letter, make him feel a bit ashamed and realize that his family should come first. Don't be afraid to insult him as best as you can. Trust me, I know from first hand experience." And she truly did too. _

"_Hey," said James happily and his face seemed to brighten up just slightly. "Thanks for the advice Evans, I'll try it." _

"_No problem," said Lily, glad that she had made him happier again. However, unbeknown to her, the cheerful mood she had suddenly felt around his presence would be gone quicker than it came. _

_James then put on his trademark smirk, raised his chin up a little, and hunched his shoulders. He then leaned against the wall and thoroughly ran a hand smoothly and messily within his hair. He looked rather like an idiot. _

"_So Evans," began James, his tone cool and suggestive. "I guess you've finally started showing me some attraction. Guess I do make you weak at the knees." _

"_What?" said Lily, hardly daring to believe it_._ Her fists were soon clenched at her side. _

"_Well," said James slowly and his tone was seductive now. "How about me and you go out? What do you say Evans, I could really give you up a run for your money, I'm totally sure you would love me to feel you up." _

_As soon as she heard those words, Lily rose up a hand and smacked James Potter with all her might. "Don't ever say that to me again Potter," shouted Lily, tears burning brightly from behind her emerald green eyes. "I'm not a slut, and I never will be!" _

_James realizing what he had done began to apologize_.

"_I'm sorry Evans—it just came out of nowhere—please forgive me!" _

"_NEVER!" screamed Lily at the top of her voice. Then she hurriedly turned away and ran out the library._

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"Lily!"

Lily blinked in surprise and found herself staring into the hazel eyes of James Potter.

"Oh!" cried Lily. She backed away against her armchair for she felt extremely uncomfortable with their faces set so closely together.

"You just zoned out," said Potter, eyeing her carefully. Lily was surprise to see him look so worried. "Are you okay?"

_Why does he keep doing this to me? _thought Lily. Swallowing nervously, she replied, "I'm fine Potter, j-just a little tired, that's all. Long day, you know? I'm sure you can understand that. Now can I see what you have written."

"Of course," he mumbled and handed her the piece of parchment rather quickly, but Lily eyes were faster than blinking.

"Potter, you're bleeding!" she cried.

"Oh, what?" said James. He gave a nervous laugh while he hid his injured hand behind his back. "It's nothing Lily."

But Lily had grabbed James arm from behind his back with a great amount of force to stare at his hand. She bit her lower lip unconsciously the moment she saw it.

His hand appeared to be bleeding endlessly. A great amount of blood covered it from sight and had dried. There was a horrid bloody gash upon it, and a great amount of skin had also been torn off as well, which made it appear so tender that Lily dare not to touch it more than with a stroking finger. Warm blood however, was soaking into her hands.

"What happened, Potter?" Lily asked sharply, waiting for his reply. She wanted Potter to look eye-to-eye with her, but he did not meet them. For the first time ever, he was actually avoiding contact with a girl he had knowingly fancied for years!

"Potter, look at me!" snapped Lily.

James brought his eyes down to her and Lily was surprised to see a stir of unease and pain lie deep within them. He seemed to be taking a great amount of control to not simply breakdown in her presence as he shifted uncomfortably, still eyeing her. He swallowed and let out a rather deep shaky breath.

"Will you tell me?" she whispered.

"Sirius…" And that was all he managed to say.

_They must have been closer friends than I believe them to be, _thought Lily and as they stared into each other's eyes, it suddenly struck her how dashing his hazel eyes were from behind his thin silver framed glasses.

"Um," muttered Lily turning her face away, blushing deeply and her insides were now squirming uncomfortably. "Sit down; I'll g-get a bowl of w-warm water."

Lily turned away and started up the dormitory stairs, hoping that James Potter had not noticed how close she had immensely come toward blushing over him.

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His mother came back with a small bowl of warm water and Harry smiled slightly at her, but she seemed to avoid all cost of looking at him as she dipped his injured hand into the bowl.

Harry stared at her strangely. Lily seemed so tentative and nervous at the same time, but he also sensed something more from her. Fear.

_But fear of what?_ Harry wondered as she carefully stroked his hand in the bowl of warm water.

Lily did this for about a half and hour before slowly letting go of his hand and saying softly, "It's finished Potter."

Harry took his hand out the bowl and saw that every trace of his injury had disappeared and the flesh had returned to its smooth soft surface.

"Wow Lily!" exclaimed Harry looking suddenly cheerful. "Thanks, you were great! Was that by any chance healing water?"

"Y-yeah," stammered Lily and she cleared her throat. "So are we going to get started on this meeting yet?"

"Sure," said Harry, flexing and gripping his hand. "Do you want to know what my idea is for a final celebration?

"Sure, what?" asked Lily finally looking at him with curiosity. It was surprising her that James Potter had actually planned something and had not slacked off for once.

"Well, we could start a ball," suggested Harry and he leaned forward and Lily backed away slightly because she felt strangely uncomfortable with him so close. "Around Christmas, that's the best time of year for a ball. We could have special serving made for us by elves. We can have a band play at the Christmas ball; they'll be mistletoes hanging all over the place and you and I can start the tradition. Meaning that on every Christmas balls, the Head Boy and Head Girl have got to start the opening dance."

"Dance!" exclaimed Lily looking repulsed at the idea.

"What's wrong?" asked Harry not unkindly.

Lily looked away and tried to hide her embarrassment as she confessed, "It's just that I can't dance Potter."

"Oh," chuckled Harry and a blush rose to James cheeks as he reluctantly admitted, "don't worry Lily, I can't dance either. To tell the truth, you probably dance better than I do."

Lily stared at him, for a moment there was silence.

Finally—

"Potter, why are you being so nice?"

Harry stare right back at Lily and stammered, "What do y-you m-mean?"

"Well, for instance, you've stop calling me by my surname, you haven't an ass lately to me or to Amos for dating me, and you've been doing your Head duties as requested. You haven't been hexing a single person for such awhile; you defended Snape and shouted at Black for being a major git. You've been being civil to me, you haven't made me yell at you, you haven't played any pranks, you haven't bragged, you haven't strut—"

Harry brought his hands up in the air and said very loudly, "Okay Lily, I get the point."

Lily continued to look at him and breathed, "Well, tell me why you've been so nice lately."

Harry couldn't help but smile; his mother was finally starting to notice his father.

"I just grew out of my idiotic tactics, that's all," said Harry. "I'm not really an ass Lily. I've been growing up, and even though it took only a couple of weeks, I'm finally starting to realize things I never did before. But to tell you the truth, I think it's about time I near manhood. I'm seventeen now and its time I grew up, don't you think?"

Lily looked at him breathlessly and whispered, "Yeah I guess so."

There was another moment of silence but Harry broke it.

"So, isn't it also about time for you to start calling me James?"

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Lily swallowed nervously. She had never called James Potter by his first name before, but the way he was smiling at her with that charming look in his eyes made her want to relent.

"Well, I guess your right and it is getting pretty late. I'll tell Dumbledore about your idea tomorrow morning. Oh and also goodnight ... James."

Lily could not help the small gasp that literally escaped her mouth as soon as she said his name. But she couldn't deny as well, how good it had felt to _say it_ for the first time ever.

"Goodnight Lily," said James beaming and smiling so handsomely at her that Lily suddenly felt as if her face was burning.

"Damn," whispered Lily, still blushing scarlet as she walked up the dormitory stairs. "What is wrong with me?"

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Harry watched his mother go and as he stared into the fireplace, he heard a little voice inside him say:

_Well, that went pretty well, good job Harry_.

Harry turned wildly around and gasped, "Who's there?"

He heard a small chuckle and the voice said, _It's me son, your dad. Who else?_

"Dad?" Harry could barely believe it, but there was a voice nearly unlike his own but slightly deeper talking to him from within his own head. Either he was going mad, but he still felt perfectly sane, or it really was … his father.

"Dad?" said Harry again, and much more loudly.

_That's right and you don't have to speak to me out loud. Think while you talk to me, you don't want people wondering if you've gone mad.  
_  
_How can you talk_? Harry thought, his brows knitting together. This was indeed a strange experience. He felt as if his mind and soul was suddenly being connected to someone else's.

_My body may have been shut off from my own contact, but my voice and hearing hasn't been_, James answered. _Wow son, its really weird in here! Did you know that I can pretty much look into all your secrets from just pulling out drawers in your brain? This is bloody wicked_!

"So is that how you know I'm your son, is it my thinking too much?" said Harry aloud, choosing to ignore the second comment.

_Yep, definitely_.

Harry sighed heavily, and tousled the back of his father's hair. If he had been more awake, he would have likely shown some enthusiastic interest at being able to communicate with his father, yet at the moment, things had become increasingly stressful.

_What's the matter son?_ James asked.

_You must have obviously heard my fight with Sirius right?_ said Harry in his thoughts.

_Yeah? And what about it?_

_Well, isn't it important to you?_

James began to hum quite cheerfully, before saying, _Very important Harry, but I know Sirius better than you do. Believe me, we've had worse fights before and Remus is sick of it, so he leaves it for us to deal with. Trust me Harry, Sirius will come around_.

"I hope so," muttered Harry bitterly.

_Merlin Harry! I don't know how to thank you! Lily is finally starting to show some interest in me, this is excellent!_

_Yeah, and if you want to keep that interest going, you better stop being a prat as soon as I get back home._

_Hey! I resent that_! said James indignantly.

_Well its true dad_.

_Yeah, I suppose your right_, sighed James. _But don't worry, I been listening and hearing what you do. I can't believe I'm taking an example from my own son!_

_Well, you better believe it dad because I'm doing a bloody good job for you and mum._

_You sure are! After awhile, the kiss has got to come_! said James excitedly.

"WHAT?" yelled Harry in disgust.

Oh, don't worry, James replied quickly. _When you kiss her, if you get the chance, you won't feel a thing. But my soul will because it's my body really. Once you kiss her, I'll be the one really kissing her, she'll feel my warmth, but not yours. When her lip touches mine, you won't feel a single thing, mark my word. Leave it to my soul_.

_Good_. Harry shivered uncontrollably at the thought of having to touch his own mother's lips and actually _feeling_ them.

_Well, just continue what you're doing now son, then she'll be totally falling for me_!

Yawning widely, and stretching quite lazily on the hearth floor in front of the fireplace, Harry rumpled up some of his father's hair, and leaned wearily back on his elbows.

"Yeah, sure dad," was all he said.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_Meaningless Scrawl_

The next morning, Harry woke up bright and early for their lessons, pausing to dimly reflect all that had happened the night before. Turning to his side, he spotted the bed beside him oddly empty.

Usually every morning when he woke up, Harry would find some half-naked girl curled up in Sirius arms. But now, it seemed as if Sirius's Invitation Bed had been canceled the previous night.

Sighing loudly, a little voice said, _feeling perky son_?

"Oh shut up," mumbled Harry and the bed across him gave a huge grunt.

"Who are you telling to shut up Prongs?" muttered Remus sleepily. "Shut up yourself."

Harry hastily shoved on some clothes and went downstairs to the Gryffindor common room, out the portrait hole, down the Entrance Hall stairs and into the Great Hall for the morning breakfast.

At the Gryffindor table, Harry spotted Sirius shoving eggs and toast into his mouth at an alarming rate. He seemed to be eating quickly as if to escape as soon as he was done.

"Sirius!" called Harry.

Sirius looked up and his face began to take many expressions all at once. Anger, confusion, disgust and a number of others that Harry couldn't take the time to read. All he cared about was making a truce between him and his godfather.

"Bugger off Potter," snapped Sirius as Harry approached him.

"Give me a chance to explain Sirius," said Harry calmly.

"I said 'bugger off' and your answer is _no_, so get your ass out of here before I hex you, big head boy," retorted Sirius and he went back to shoving bacon into his mouth, chewing and swallowing hastily without pause.

At these words, Harry suppressed a slight chuckle and remembered Fred and George's name for Percy in third year. But unfortunately for him, he appeared to have made the wrong move.

"Are you laughing at me?" growled Sirius. He stood up to his full height, making a threatening power of contact between him and Harry now.

People who were starting to make entrance into the Great Hall were staring at them curiously.

"_No_—just lower you voice!" said Harry urgently.

"WHY SHOULD I POTTER?" thundered Sirius and he swiped at his porridge bowl, sending it crashing into pieces on the floor, where soup spilled everywhere. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO LOWER YOUR OWN VOICE DOWN! WHY SHOULD I?"

Harry was now beginning to feel his own temper bubbling through the surface and yet he kept his voice as calm as he should.

"Because we've been best friends since forever Sirius," replied Harry simply. "And if your going to throw all these years away just because of a stupid fight, then your throwing away The Marauders."

Sirius suddenly looked as if he had been punched in the face. For a moment, for just one brief moment, Harry thought that he saw shamefulness come across the young man's handsome features, but it was gone as quick as it came.

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Black! What is the meaning of all this shouting?" snapped a brisk irritated voice.

Harry jumped slightly and turned around. He saw that it was Professor McGonagall; her face was furious and highly annoyed all at once.

"Sorry, Professor," said Harry. "It was nothing, it won't happen again."

"Be that as it may Potter, and yet I forgot to mention," said Professor McGonagall. "You have patrol duty with Ms. Evans tonight at twelve o'clock midnight."

"What?" said Harry in shock. "But I thought that the Head students patrol by themselves."

"Change of rules Potter," said Professor McGonagall smartly. "The Headmaster believed it was unsafe for one Head to patrol alone. So it is now two Head's. Oh and by the way Potter, excellent idea about the ball," she added and walked off.

Harry shook his head and turned back around quickly to talk to Sirius, but found yet again that he had been abandoned, but this time left with an a shattered bowl of spilled porridge lying at his feet.

_Don't worry_, said James calmly inside him. _Sirius will come around and anyways the day is going to brighten. Trust me_.

"Bugger it all," Harry mumbled, feeling a little disappointed that his plead with Sirius hadn't been taken into forgiveness as he hoped it would.

"Good morning James," greeted a voice warmly.

Harry turned and saw that it was his mother walking past him with a group of her friends, all who gawked and gaped at her.

Smiling widely, Harry said in return, "Morning Lily."

_See, the day has brightened_! exclaimed James happily. _My destined love has called to me at last_!

_Just shut up dad_, thought Harry as he sat down and began to have some breakfast. _You talk way too bloody damn much_.

_Foolish is the man who keeps his mouth shut, but wise is the man who feigns not silence_, retorted James in a very self-satisfied voice.

**----------------------------------------------------**

Lily Evans strolled cheerfully into Transfiguration with the whole lot of her friends jumping excitedly at her, clearly shocked at what had just happened previously.

"Lils, I can't believe you!" exclaimed Alice. "Did the name 'James' finally escape your lips after all or have I simply gone mad?"

Lily just snorted and said rather off-handedly, "It was really nothing. I think he deserves the first name calling, in fact."

"Nothing?" squeaked Linda, her eyes bulging very faintly. "And what the hell do you mean that he deserves it?"

Su on the other hand was oddly quiet, and was not looking the least bit curious. However, she smiled slyly at Lily. Her very pretty Chinese features appeared to be taking in Lily's words quite thoughtfully.

"Yes, tell us why don't you!" jumped in Alice curiously. "Honestly Lily, what happen? Why the sudden change in you two?"

"Well…" Lily began, smiling slightly, as she took her seat in the back of the room. "Bit of a long story really..."

**----------------------------------------------------**

Harry walked slowly into Transfiguration with both Remus and Wormtail behind him. He was feeling highly gloomy and not in any mood to talk or listen to both of their constant babbles.

He took a seat a few rows away from Lily and her friends. Harry did not want to pursue his father's sudden change too fast in front her. If he did, it might annoy her…

"Welcome class," said Professor McGonagall briskly, bringing Harry sharply back to earth. "Today we will be practicing the vanishing spell—"

Harry nearly toppled out of his seat in laughter. From the future, they had learned the vanishing spell in fifth year. Obviously, in the past, they were studying a little too late for his standards.

_What so funny son_? His father asked in a serious snappish tone. _I take Transfiguration very seriously even if we do start later than you do_!

_Yeah, sure dad_, thought Harry. _You know why I think it's funny, you would too if you started earlier from where I came from_.

_Oh yeah_, began James. _Well_….

Lily continued to scrawl all over her parchment, hardly taking in a word Professor McGonagall was saying.

Love was what she wrote all over the edges of her parchment. She was decorating it with little hearts and cupids, preparing for the grand finale of it. In the middle of the hearts and cupids along with the little scrawls on the edges, she would write in bold large letters: **Amos and Lily**.

But before she could even start the grand finale, Lily looked up from her parchment and stared briefly at Professor McGonagall to pretend that she was listening before going back to finish what she was preparing on her parchment. However, just as she was about to lean forward with her quill posed ready in her hand, she happened to half glance at James Potter who looked highly annoyed.

"What the?" mumbled Lily as the tip of her quill hit the middle of the parchment. Lily stared at him curiously as his face began to change into many expressions in a few quick seconds. For a moment, while Professor McGonagall continued to lecture them, James began to mess angrily with his hair, grind his teeth and mumble something to himself.

Lily watched in amusement as he slowly dropped his head onto his desk to give it a few quick quiet bangs. For a second, Lily could have sworn that James had just quietly mumbled, "Shut the bloody hell up."

It was almost as if … James was … arguing with himself…?

"How absurd," muttered Lily as James shook his head and turned his attention back to the Professor.

Lily then went back to focusing on her parchment, but nearly gave a scream as soon as she had glanced down

Written in large bold letters on the middle of the parchment already, while she had been watching James was: **James and Lily**.

Quickly, she scrunched up the parchment and unfolded it to scrunch it up again before ripping it hastily into pieces and shoving it all into her bag. Lily knew as soon as she got into the Gryffindor common room that she was going to burn those pieces of ripped up parchment.

"I didn't mean to write it," mumbled Lily frantically as she clutched at the edges of her desk so hard, that her knuckles turned white. "I didn't mean to at all. It was just a meaningless scrawl…"

--------------------------------------------------


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

**  
**_Confrontations And Midnight Patrol_

Harry sat in the library that night, shivering slightly in the cold. It was almost midnight and he would have to be meeting his mother soon for their patrolling duty.

Sighing loudly, Harry began to pack up his books and tossed them into his bag. As he walked out the library door however, he happened to bump into none other than Amos Diggory, Lily's current boyfriend.

_Why it's that git that's been going out with Lily_! snarled James.

Harry shook his head to get rid of his father's voice and glanced back up to find Amos glaring at him through his gray eyes. It was indeed unnerving to be facing Cedric Diggory's younger father, who he had never really been fond of in the future anyway.

"Evening Amos," greeted Harry politely. He tried to walk pass, but Amos stubbornly held his ground, his long arms firmly at his sides with both hands clenched. Undoubtedly, he was trying to appearing threatening. It was almost laughable.

"Er, is something … wrong?" asked Harry.

Amos then brought down a finger and prodded Harry's chest. Hard.

"You keep away from Lily," Amos growled, baring his white even teeth very slightly. "I've been getting suspicious of you and her lately. For some reason, you two seem a bit cozy today. I don't like it one bit, Potter."

_Over my dead body_, growled James right back. _You beastie piece of sh_—

Harry stared at the handsome Hufflepuff in amazement.

_And I'm not handsome_? came James's indignant voice. Harry wish that he had something useful to shut his father up.

"Look Amos," began Harry. "All we did was say hi in the halls, nothing personal."

"What, you think I'm stupid?" said Amos angrily. "You think I don't know what you're trying to do? I want it to stop."

At this, Harry raised an eyebrow while James said gleefully, _make me Diggory, you smarmy git_. He surveyed Amos appraisingly with his own father's eyes, noting the sleek brown hair, obviously plucked eyebrows, and tall muscular frame dressed in excessively fashioned clothing. It was at that moment that Harry thought to himself, _come to think of it, what did mum see in this idiot? He's as arrogant as dad_.

_Hey_! said James incredulously. _I can hear, you know_?

"And why should I listen to you? Your being pathetic," said Harry coolly, locking hard eyes with the Hufflepuff. He refused to give in to Diggory's scornful threat because he wasn't feeling one bit afraid.

"Because—because—it would—just do and you better!" stammered Amos furiously, his gray eyes having flashed at being called 'pathetic.' Harry couldn't help but force a smirk as the young man then strutted confidently away. "I'm warning you, Potter," he shouted from behind his back. "Keep away from Lily if you know what's good for you."

This of course caused the current Librarian, Madam Lu to hiss loudly in Amos's direction.

_Yeah, and Sirius would run around naked while singing 'Oops, I farted again,' by Britney Spears. Yeah that will be the day when I listen to you Diggory_, said James sarcastically. Harry wanted to burst out laughing.

_He feels threaten dad_, thought Harry and he heard James chuckle.

_He should_, replied James smugly. _Diggory is starting to realize that Ev—I mean Lily is starting to show some interest in me_.

_Don't get too cocky_, warned Harry. _We don't know that yet, and besides, mum doesn't appreciate when you get over overconfident_._ She's already made that clear, and I still don't see how you ever got to go out with her in seventh year_._ You still act the same as you do in fifth year_.

_Aww, c'mon Harry_, whined James. _I'm_ _not that much of a prick, right? I've grown up some, admit it_.

"Yeah, the day you'll change is when I also sing 'Oops, I did it again,' by Britney Spears, Merlin does that sound wrong," joked Harry aloud. He sniggered as he walked out the library.

_My joke of 'Oops, I farted' was funnier_, said James. _Your joke was just nastier_.

_Bloody hell, does it matter?_ said Harry furiously.

**------------------------------------------------**

"Hi James," greeted Lily as she joined him out of the portrait hole for midnight patrol.

"Evening Lily," said James, smiling truly at her and Lily felt her face grow unconsciously hot. She swallowed nervously, now feeling embarrassed for some unknown reason.

They walked down the corridors in an awkward silence, not knowing what to say to each other. However, Lily kept stealing glances at James when she knew he wasn't looking.

As they turned a corner, Lily peeked an eye at his profile: His jet-black hair was sprawled over in all directions, yet she noticed that when he turned his head, his hair flew in windswept fashion across his glasses and his murky greenish hazel eyes shown brightly from beneath the square thin silver frames. He then turn to look at her and smiled once again.

Turning away, Lily blushed furiously. Merlin! What was the matter with her these days?

"So, what are you planning to do after school ends?" asked Lily, attempting to make conversation.

James paused for a moment, as if waiting for an answer inside himself. Finally—

"I want to be an Auror," answered James matter-of-factly.

Lily was surprised by his answer.

"Auror?" she said in amazement. "I thought that the famous Seeker James Potter was going to be a Quidditch player?"

James gave a truly genuine laugh and Lily felt herself grinning stupidly because of it.

"Quidditch isn't everything," said James. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and eyed Lily very seriously. "It may be fun and I do love it, but I'm a person to know that there are better and more reasonable things for me to be doing. There are people that need help, and I rather risk my life for them then throw it away for fame."

Lily stared at him in admiration, and admittedly, with some surprise as well.

"Wow," she said breathlessly. "I guess there are things about the real James Potter that I never knew."

James turned to look at her, his hands still in his pockets. Lily suddenly and unexpectedly glanced at him fully like she had never done before. He was tall, yes, and with a thin face that seemed to have developed a firm jaw line since those long six years she had known him. He wasn't overly gorgeous, not to spiffy, or grave appearing, but the eccentric glow in his hazel eyes and the soft smile on his lips nearly caught Lily off guard. It was as if she was seeing him for the first time ever.

They gazed at each other and Lily felt herself melting just by having him stare back into her own eyes. She didn't know what she was feeling, but it was many emotions all bubbling excitedly toward the surface in a fierce rush. And although it felt good to feel them somehow, it did not make her any more comfortable with herself but rather uneasy.

"So," Lily said, breaking the awkward moment. "About this ball thing…." Her boyfriend, Amos Diggory, flew into her mind at that moment and a trail of guilt was left for her to ponder over slightly.

"Yeah," said James, turning away and frowning vaguely from the obvious distraction over the topic. "Are you sure you want to do it?"

"Well," said Lily and her cheeks began to flush from embarrassment. "I really don't know how to dance…" she trailed off, avoiding James's eyes.

"Then why don't I show you," said James softly, and to her surprise, he took her hand and began to rush her down the end of the corridor. Like a madman, he dragged her uncomprehendingly around this certain hall way. Three times at least.

"Where are we going?" shouted Lily.

"Here," announced James and he forced Lily to stare at a blank stoned wall.

"What the--" said Lily in bewilderment, but she was cut off by a door sliding in out of nowhere onto the wall's surface.

"Welcome," said James proudly. He suddenly flung open the door to show a dance room, with colorful lighting and flashing sparks. Music could be heard floating out as well…. "To the Room Of Requirements."

Lily gaped in shock and James pushed her inside before quietly closing the door behind them.

"What is this place?" asked Lily, forgetting about patrol and at the fact that they would get in an extreme amount of trouble if they were to be caught. She stared at the wonderful dance floor that was sparkling brilliantly as the music played a sort of soft tune that she didn't recognized.

"I'll explain later," said James hastily. "But in the mean while..." He suddenly thrust out an open hand. "Um, you want to dance?" He looked so sheepish and uncertain that Lily wanted to laugh. So James had brought her here just to dance? Usually, she would have rolled her eyes at his silliness, but at moment, she felt unusually giddy.

"Um, alright," Lily replied with some embarrassment, her cheeks burning. She couldn't have very well turned him down, not when he looked had so hopeful in a genuine way and had asked so nicely.

James took her hand carefully as if afraid she would run off and change her mind. Uncertainly, he began to slowly guide her around the dance floor. Lily was amazed at how gentle he held the small of her back and of how her hand was interlocked very lightly with his, but closely together.

"You were right when you said you didn't know how to dance," laughed Lily as James twirled her clumsily around.

He blushed, but said, "I bloody well suck, don't I?"

"Big time," said Lily grinning.

For a moment, James glanced timidly down at his black shoes and equally black laces. He seem to fight off an embarrass grin as he managed looked back up at Lily and into her obviously amused green eyes. It was quite odd to see James Potter embarrassed.

**-------------------------------------------------- **

Harry held on to his mother, but did not feel any of her warmth or her touch. It was almost as if he wasn't holding her at all. In fact, he couldn't even feel her _breathing_ on him. His father had been right and surprisingly, this wasn't too bad after all.

_Merlin_, sighed James in pleasure. _I never thought I'd be this close to her. She feels like an angel_.

"Just shut up and enjoy your moment," mumbled Harry.

As they continued to dance rather clumsily around together with Harry trying desperately to not trip over his own feet, the harsh yet well toned voice of the singer could be heard softly over the dimly lit dance floor.

_The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful.  
Stop me and steal my breath.  
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky.  
Never revealing their depth.  
Tell me that we belong together.  
Dress it up with the trappings of love.  
I'll be captivated.  
I'll hang from your lips.  
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

After several moments, he felt Lily's head droop onto his shoulder and heard a soft snore.

"Oops, looks like mum fell asleep," whispered Harry and he lifted up the sleeping Lily into his father's arms. James began to sing ever so softly alongside the music, years of longing and unreleased emotion filling his voice with passion for the girl that he so obviously adored.

_I'll be your crying shoulder,  
I'll be love's suicide  
I'll be better when I'm older,  
I'll be the greatest fan of your life_.

"This is so heavenly," Lily murmured as she gave another soft snore. Harry wanted to laugh but he controlled himself as he carried her up to Gryffindor Tower.

He made it quietly into the Gryffindor common room and saw not a single person in sight. Relieved, he stepped up the Girls Dormitory, but was surprise that it did not cause him to fall.

_Maybe it knows that I'm not going to try anything_, thought Harry as he lifted Lily easily up the stairs.

_What do you mean we're not going to try anything_? whined James. _Could we just_—?

"No!" said Harry firmly and he lowered his voice to a whisper, not wanting to wake his mother. "That's just wrong! Even if I don't feel anything, it still disgusting and besides I don't think its right. Stop being a pig dad."

_Alright, alright_, mumbled James, sounding disappointed. _Don't get your knickers in a twist_. _Mind you, it was just a suggestion_.

Harry saw a door to his left as he walked up the final step: **7th year dorm**.

He opened it and carried the sleeping Lily inside and to his surprise, found that many of her roommates were still awake. They all gaped at him with wide eyes full of surprise and indecision.

"Uh, oh, hi," said Harry and he blushed deeply. "Lily sort of fell asleep when we were patrolling. Any idea which is her bed?" He felt very uncomfortable with all their eyes upon him, and hoped dearly that they did not think that his father had decided to bring Lily up to her bed for other reasons.

A pretty Chinese girl pointed wordlessly with her mouth open at a bed next to hers. Harry walked slowly toward the bedside and dropped Lily gently into it. He pulled the covers and sheets over her before tucking the blankets around her sides, while with the other hand, he used for straightening her pillow.

He then stood up and noted that all girls were still gaping at him except for a round face young woman with long blond hair who was instead eyeing him curiously: _Neville's mother_.

Harry felt all the air suddenly blow out of him as he gazed back at her with pity and slight remorse. However, he controlled his emotions and mumbled a goodnight while opening the door and leaving.

_I don't know what to say, Harry_, came James dreamy voice as they descended the girl's dormitory stairs. _She's so perfect, even the way she sleeps and snores. Just beautiful_! _How could I ever thank you_?

"You can thank me by acting like yourself when I get back home and not like an arrogant prat anymore dad," whispered Harry.

James then began singing to the tune of Oops, I Did It Again.

_Oops, I slept with Evan, I got her in bed, ooh baby ooh, now she thinks I'm so hot_—

_And that was what I mean by being a prat_, thought Harry, appearing into the Gryffindor Common Room, and finding a huge mess of reeking dung bombs lying on the floor before him.

_Hey, I'm progressing_, said James smugly. He put on a falsely gentleman tone. _Ms. Evans, may I have this dance_? _Why, you look quite lovely in that thong, dearest_.

"How many times do I have to tell to shut the bloody hell up?" said Harry aloud, finding it disgustingly hard to shed away the image of his mother in a thong that James had just randomly conjured into his mind.

_And how many people are going to think you're crazy if you keep talking out loud like that_? asked James and he began to sing again. _Oops, I slept with Evans_—

Harry groaned and banged his head repeatedly against the wall.


	6. Authors Note

Ok, this is me... again... I apologise profusely for not updating in a while, but various things have popped up that have driven me to the brink of something past my current insanity... yeah... it takes my laptop's motherboard shattering, highschool, and inheriting my parents' unbelievibly slow laptop, which I had to re-install the OS TWICE to make work properly again, to push me to the proverbial deep end. This will begin again once I get the chapters copied from my old HDD and onto this one. Thanks for being more than patient, even though I suspect all of you have forgotten about this fic... Ta Ta for now.


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